Living The Life You Want? Outsmart Your Subconscious Blueprint

Although you work hard, try your best, and have the best intentions in love, work and life, do you often feel that making your dreams a reality is an uphill battle or that you are spinning your wheels? Do you feel stuck perhaps?  It may be a sign that your subconscious is running the show!

Consider a romantic relationship for example. Often the relationship starts well and then as it progresses, problems begin to present themselves.   Picture yourself falling madly in love.  You feel you have finally found your soulmate–someo92208954_sne who truly “gets you”.  You feel a passionate and familiar resonance, as if you have come home.  The chemistry is crazy and you can’t get your new found mate out of your head.  You are blissful, energetic, intuitive, and in the flow of life.  You literally glow!

Biologically and neurologically, there is a lot to be gained from this experience.  Your endorphins are on high.  You are releasing dopamine, vasopressin, oxytocin and growth hormones, all of which stimulate the growth of cells.  In this loving state, you are highly aware, attuned and conscious as your desires are being met.

Then one day you find that the partner you are planning on spending the rest of your life with is hiding his finances from you. You are concerned as you will soon be married.  You ask him why he is doing this and he suddenly raises his voice at you defensively and tells you that it’s none of your business. You are shocked as you have never heard him be so curt with you before.  He supports his argument by saying that it’s normal, his dad always managed the family finances and gave his mother an allowance.  What he learned in childhood  is inappropriately being carried out in his adult life without much, if any, conscious thought.  His blind spot,  if ignored, will create conflict and dysfunction in the relationship.  You have your blind spots as well,  which will affect the relationship.

As another example, imagine you fall in love with an amazing woman and as things start to get more serious between you, you notice she starts to pull away.  She seemed committed to the relationship at the beginning, but later you feel as though she has one foot in the relationship and one foot out. You tell her you feel like a yo-yo.  You learn that her father abandoned her early in life.  Although she is unaware of it, you believe that it is highly likely that her fear of abandonment is keeping her from fully being in relationship with you.

We could change the above scenarios to include a million other examples of what can happen when we move out of the honeymoon phase and into the what the heck just happened phase or when we move from a conscious state of mind into an unconscious one.  You may ask, who is this new person who has entered the relationship?  Is this my love?

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As you know, with all of us, there is a side that is conscious to us and a side that is unconscious to us and that is outside of our awareness. This is huge problem because that which is invisible is not changeable. Our subconscious can run havoc on our lives and we lose control.

We have hopes and dreams for our relationships, careers, and life and we may have trouble making our vision a reality.  We inadvertently sabotage aspects of our lives as if on automatic pilot without knowing how we arrived at our unfavorable destination.  Our relationships are compromised and our prosperity, happiness, and lives thwarted.  Our health declines as we feel like a victim to our circumstances and the stress causes us to fall into a fight, flight or freeze response. The stress is neurotoxic to our brains and bodies.

So what is going on here?

The conscious mind is the seat of your personality.  It is the creative part of the brain that houses our hopes, dreams, and desires.  The rest of the brain is the subconscious mind that reacts to a stimulus response or that is a reflex or habitual.

The evolution of higher mammals, including chimps, cetaceans, and humans, brought forth a new level of awareness called self-consciousness. Or simply the conscious mind. The newer conscious mind is an important evolutionary advance. The earlier, subconscious mind is our autopilot, the conscious mind is our manual control.  For example, if a ball comes near your eye, the slower conscious mind may not have time to be aware of the threatening projectile.  Yet the subconscious mind, which processes ~20,000,000 environmental stimuli per seconds vs. 40 environmental stimuli interpreted by the conscious mind in the same second, will cause the eye to blink {Norretranders 1998}.

The subconscious mind is like a database in which you call up programs or records of information.  It contains temporarily forgotten information and well as repressed memories.

How did your subconscious mind develop?  Your subconscious mind primarily developed in the third trimester of your mother’s pregnancy and continues until the age of seven.  At that time, you were a sponge for information and learned through observation.  You observed your parents, grandparents and siblings primarily, as well teachers, friends, clergy, community, etc.  During that time, and due to the mirror neurons in your brain, you picked up all sorts of information about what to believe, what to perceive, how to behave, what to think, and it all became programmed into your brain.

Interestingly, according to Bruce Lipton, Ph.D., biologist and best-selling author, whose book, The Biology of Belief, was awarded 2006′s Best Science Book of the Year, before the age of seven, your brain waves were operating in a state of theta. Theta is a slower brain wave state than our typical waking state which is beta or alpha (alpha being a slower state than beta).  Theta is the state of hypnosis when you are open to suggestion and imprinting belief systems.  It is also often the brainwave state that I am in when I am doing psychic readings as we are far more intuitive in this state.  Consider how easily young children learn multiple languages during the first seven years.

The observations you learned from your environment during that time were imprinted into your subconscious with hidden memories.  They are not your wishes and desires, they are not your spirit, but a result of others peoples’ thoughts, teachings and behaviors.

Bruce Lipton and other researchers state that the subconscious mind controls 95% of how our circumstances manifest and that only 5% of our mind is controlled by the conscious mind.  In other words, only 5% of the time, are we consciously creating the life we want.

In addition, researchers state that roughly 70% or more of these subconscious programs are self-sabotaging and limiting.

When the conscious and subconscious do not agree, there is disharmony which affects every muscle in our body.  Our body is literally weakened.

Stephen Call, an epigenetic researcher, says that “we are architects of our own experience.  Your subjective experience carries more power than your objective situation.  What you perceive is more important than the world in which you live. Your behavior today will affect your grandchildren.”

What we now know about epigenetics is that we can change our genetic predisposition and rewire our brain.  We are not victims of our genes or experience.

According to Bruce Lipton, the conscious and subconscious minds learn very differently.  For example, it is very common for me to hear in my private practice that my client has read several books to overcome their self-limiting behaviors (e.g., low self-esteem, excessive anger, codependency in an abusive relationship, etc.), but they still find themselves in the same old patterning and with the same set of issues year after year. When you are reading a book, the conscious mind becomes very smart, but the subconscious mind doesn’t change its’ programming.

What can you do to change the subconscious wiring? 

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  • Psychotherapy is an excellent way to get in touch with your subconscious so you can choose your thoughts and behaviors consciously rather than being imprisoned by them.

Psychotherapy enables you to understand how you learned to disown aspects of yourself that were not positively reinforced in childhood. Being the smart young person you were, you learned to show up in the world in a way that would help you survive and gain continuous love and approval and conversely, hide the parts of yourself that you thought were unlovable.  You hid them from others and overtime, you too lost track of these aspects of yourself.

Carl Jung referred to this as our shadow side.  For example, if you grew up with a militant and controlling father, you may have learned to be overly accommodating, passive and follow orders.  Your shadow side may be the positive attribute of leadership and your father’s shadow side, following, listening and going with the flow.  The counseling process helps you uncover these hidden aspects of yourself and bring them to the forefront so you can be conscious of how you “show-up” in life and strengthen attributes, as well and let go of outdated patterns.

Levoy said, “If we are afraid of the dark because we can’t see, we are also afraid of the light because we can see.”  What are you afraid of seeing?  You can only see others and situations as clearly as you see yourself.  Everything else is a projection.

Free association, where your mind wanders and you express yourself freely in therapy, can also help you access your subconscious.  Transference is also powerful.  Transference is the inadvertent process by which the feelings and emotions you had primarily toward a parent or person in childhood are projected onto your therapist.  You do this unconsciously with your mates and loved ones, but a therapist will understand this and lovingly help you see your projections.

  • Dreams are also an excellent way to access your subconscious.  Dreams wake us up and often speak to us in the form of symbols and metaphors.  If you start to journal your dreams or simply take notice of them, you will better understand your unconscious perceptions, fears, and desires.
  • Hypnosis is an excellent way to change subconscious wiring and replace unhealthy beliefs and attitudes for positive ones.  In addition to psychotherapy, you may have experienced a guided imagery or hypnosis session with me privately or in one of my classes.
  • Hemi-Sync is a type of music therapy that vertically integrates the left and right hemispheres of the brain and slows down brain waves to align with the stronger electromagnetic rhythms of the heart.  Young children’s minds are typically in sync and harmony which is another reason they learn so quickly.  Putting headphones on before you go to bed and falling asleep to this music technology that includes guided messages, will allow you to rewire your subconscious from negative to positive beliefs and perceptions.  As a side note, you can also quickly exercise both sides of your brain to fire in harmony by crossing your arms and legs.  I have been facilitating this exercise in my classes for years!
  • Allow your intuition to speak.  For example, right now, what is the first thing that comes to your mind (gut, heart) when I ask you: What do you need right now?  What do you want?  How do you feel?  Your intuition speaks to you in a flash and will tell you what your subconscious is thinking.  The conscious mind is slower, whereas the subconscious mind picks it up right away.  You may have had a reading with me where I tune into your subconscious mind to bring hidden obstacles and unconscious patterns to the surface so you can deal with them.  You know when these insights feel right when you resonate with them and your body responds (you may get the tingles or have an aha in the  moment)!
  • Notice your life at present.  Your life now is a printout of your subconscious programming.  What is showing up for you?  What wonderful things are coming easily into your life?  Conversely, what areas of your life are problematic or troublesome?  Where are you swimming up-stream?  As stated earlier, if there are areas of your life that are very difficult, it is probable that these issues are due to problems in your programming and beliefs that have been handed down to you through others –sometimes handed down from generation to generation, or ones that have been indoctrinated and embedded in your culture.
  • Learn new habits. It takes roughly twelve weeks to learn a new habit.  If you have a habit that isn’t serving you, exchange a new healthier habit for an old one.  Over time, the newly learned habit will become part of your new norm and you won’t even have to think about trying to learn it anymore.  Remember learning how to play a new sport, ride a bike or drive a car?  It took a lot of effort from your conscious mind at first, but through repetition it became habitual and programmed into your subconscious mind.  I am sure you have driven from point A to point B and upon arrival, vaguely remembered how you got to your destination!
  • Understand past lives.  Through hypnosis or an intuitive read, you can gain extremely helpful information about your past lives and better understand how they relate to unconscious conflicts in this life.  You will learn what your soul is trying to wake you up to in this life.  Past lives can point to your calling in this life and what your soul needs to learn and accomplish to self-actualize/self-realize.  I will talk more about past lives in future papers.
I utilize all of the methods above to help you unlock the secrets of your mind to let go of unconscious patterns and manifest your greatest desires.

About Karen Storsteen, M.S., M.A.

Karen Final nosmile copyKaren Storsteen is an Intuitive Therapist and blends intuitive gifts with transpersonal psychology and counseling to help individuals gain insight, awareness, healing and growth in love, work and life.

Having worked in the fields of human and organizational development for over 25 years, she has counseled and educated thousands to self-actualize and reach their greatest potential. She helps people let go of limiting thoughts and behaviors so they can experience the miraculous and catapult their lives forward.

Do you need clarity and peace of mind? Karen Storsteen  can assist you whether you are going through a difficult life transition, having relationship issues, seeking career counseling, grieving the loss of a loved one, desiring business consulting, or an intuitive read. She also provides intuitive and leadership development classes.

She has  been featured on ABC, NBC and CBS, Inc. and TED Magazine, and has been a regular on morning radio and several FM/AM and internet radio stations. Storsteen’s work is well-recognized by Fortune 500 leaders, professional organizations (such as Mensa, the High IQ Society and the Project Management Institute), higher education, mental health professionals, the Crime Wire Bureau of Investigations (for finding missing people and solving suspicious crimes intuitively), media and the general public.

Storsteen graduated with Honors with a Master of Arts in Psychology from Regis University and a Master of Science in Management and Organization, and Master’s Minor in Finance, from the University of Colorado. She holds a Bachelor of Science in Business Management and has numerous certifications in psychological, behavioral and organizational assessment, as well as, human-performance improvement technologies.

Storsteen provides counseling and business consulting services, as well as intuitive sessions globally and by phone.

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Copyright © 2018, Karen Storsteen. All Rights Reserved.