What is the trigger bringing up for you? Even if their words or behaviors were unfair and imbalanced, ultimately, your reaction, as you know, is really all about you. You are responsible for how you are feeling and the beauty in that is freedom. It’s about how you feel and think about yourself and how you are receiving their message.
There is gold in the trigger as it’s pointing to the parts of you that are unhealed. You can only let it bother you if you give it power or believe that what was told, shown, or demonstrated to you is somehow true about you.
The trigger is pointing the way to an unclaimed part of you or a part of you that doesn’t feel whole. It may be pointing to a part of you that you cut off from yourself years ago and may likely have to do with the direct and indirect messages you received and perceived about yourself in childhood. The trigger is helping you to become purer in your relationship with your True Self, your Divine Self.
Feeling rejected or abandoned is a common trigger. For example, consider a love affair that ended suddenly. You are left to wonder what happened and what went wrong. You question, “Why wasn’t I good enough?” “What didn’t he or she see in me?” “Maybe if I did this or that he would have stayed.” “If only I could have made her feel more secure in the relationship and for her to know how much I love her.” “Why does everyone leave me?” “What did I do wrong?” “The men in my life always leave me starting with my father.”
There is treasure in reflecting and questioning why you were/are triggered to the extent that you can go deep within, learn from it, empathize with yourself and gain insight and self-awareness. The key however, is to be gentle with yourself instead of beating yourself up–particularly beating yourself up for that which is out of your control. Beating another up or trying to fix them is another way you disempower yourself. It takes the focus off of you, can lead to self-denial, and keep you from healing yourself. It keeps you from the gold! Using the example above, your lover may have left for a myriad of reasons; perhaps they also have abandonment or attachment issues. Their reasons may have nothing to do with you, although I understand these learning experiences can be very painful indeed.
The only way you can be abandoned is if you abandon yourself. Do not abandon yourself in the face of abandon. When you feel whole within yourself and love all sides of you, honoring your strengths and having empathy for your weaknesses, you are in-tune with the totally of your being and coming from a place of acceptance. You stand in quiet peace and in your power. No one can diminish or trigger you unless you allow them.
You are not rattled by the words and doings of others, because most of what they say and do has nothing to do with you — it’s a reflection of them. You are not responsible for what others say and do and you are not in control of their actions.
You will move away from those experiences that trigger you when you have learned what you needed to learn about yourself and healed. You no longer resonate with that experience or energy and therefore, you no longer attract it into your energy field.
When you accept yourself fully, you accept others and situations as they are and grow to love each experience from a place of wonder, gentle observation, unconditional love and peace. You experience liberation, freedom and utter amusement and joy as you realize that each and every experience is a wonderful gift that encourages self-exploration and discovery. You can think of those who trigger you as characters in your play of life. With self-awareness, you have the choice of how you will perceive each experience and you get to decide how you want to show-up! You have your journey and others have theirs. Let go and enjoy the ride!
About Karen Storsteen, M.S., M.A.
Having worked in the fields of human and organizational development for over 25 years, I have counseled and educated hundreds of thousands to self-actualize and reach their greatest potential. I help people let go of limiting thoughts and behaviors so they can experience the miraculous and catapult their lives forward.
Do you need clarity and peace of mind? I am here to assist you whether you are going through a difficult life transition, having relationship issues, seeking career counseling, grieving the loss of a loved one, desiring business consulting, or an intuitive read. I also provide intuitive and leadership development classes.
I have been featured on ABC, NBC and CBS, Inc. and TED Magazine, and have been a regular on morning radio and several FM/AM and internet radio stations. My work is well-recognized by Fortune 500 leaders, professional organizations (such as Mensa, the High IQ Society and the Project Management Institute), higher education, mental health professionals, the Crime Wire Bureau of Investigations (for finding missing people and solving suspicious crimes intuitively), media and the general public.
I graduated with Honors with a Master of Arts in Psychology from Regis University and a Master of Science in Management and Organization, and Master’s Minor in Finance, from the University of Colorado. I hold a Bachelor of Science in Business Management. I have numerous certifications in psychological, behavioral and organizational assessment and human-performance improvement technologies.
I provide counseling and business consulting services, as well as intuitive sessions globally and by phone.
To learn more, go to karensinsight.com and karenstorsteen.com.
Copyright © 2018, Karen Storsteen. All Rights Reserved.